I want to
write, what can I say?
Although
I watch you everyday
I see
your smile and bright blue eyes
Your
goofy grin that hypnotize
Your zest
for life while still so young
Your
adventures have just begun
Sweet
innocence and pure delight
At simple
things, a brand new sight
The whole
wide world, it seems so small
Can’t
hold my love for you at all
Through
joy and tears my love will grow
How much,
my son, you’ll never know
A common misconception
One I’ve quite often heard
That we are owed anything
A thought I find absurd
Of course, there is the paycheck
Exchange for our days sweat
As it’s out entitlement
With gratitude it’s met
But what we deserve in life
I feel is for debate
What one considers golden
Another reprobate
The standard we hold ourselves
Is subject to each eye
The true measure that we have
Set by Heaven, it’s high
Quite impossible to reach
Those who try can attest
Your most satisfied day’s work
No better than the rest
When our rewards don’t match up
To the prize we knew was ours
We rage and storm away
Cursing the days and hours
I suggest we stop right now
Look at what’s in our hands
Everything that’s ours in life
Is not ours, understand?
They are our gifts to care for
To cherish and help grow
However long it lasts us
However long we know
Do we deserve these blessings?
I’d wager we cannot
How much good could I have done
To earn the sleeping tot
Who rests deep within my arms
His sole reliance, me?
Was I order this joy in life?
And some would disagree
Our focus should be less on
What we might think is fair
Instead you will go further
Counting blessings everywhere
It
had been taunting me for weeks. I knew not it’s ultimate goal but I believed it
had ill intentions. I certainly did not wish it any harm. We were stuck
together. Forced to cohabitate. Not by choice, of course, but I was determined
to make the best of our situation. The trouble was, I did not know the beast’s
language. There were times I felt we had made a positive connection and even
after a few quiet moments of interaction I thought perhaps a breakthrough had
been made. But somehow or another, without fail, I would leave with fresh
wounds and a confused mind.
I
still remember our first meeting. It was late that night and I had been
preparing for the next day. Little did I know, everything was about to change.
The alarms went off, alerting me of the new presence. At first, it was timid.
The beast was curious of its new surroundings and even allowed me to greet it.
But that moment was fleeting. Thinking back, I wish I had known how to convey
proper salutations. Surely there was a universal language of some kind we could
agree on. But it was the first day. Perhaps, the beast would warm up to me and
I could finally enjoy some comradery. It was certainly lonely at times, even
when I was deep in training. Could this new being become my ally, nay even a
friend?
But
any hopes I had of forming a bond were slashed the next morning. I arose from
my bed chamber and went out, excited to greet the beast. I even brought it a
food offering, wishing to convey my heartfelt intentions. After a moment, it
approached, hesitantly. With bated breath, I sat motionless, praying that this
beast would accept the gift. I watched as it crept silently toward me and began
to eat. Elated, I reached out to show my gratitude, but was met with blood. It
had attacked, and in a flash, had disappeared. Disappointed, I mopped up my
wounds. Perhaps, it had suffered a trauma from where ever it had dwelled
before. I needed to gain its trust.
Each
day my offerings were rejected again and again. One might consider me a fool.
Clearly this beast did not need my companionship and I should let it be. But I
was determined to show it I meant no harm. I was stuck here in this wild
prison, and I had none other to keep me company. Not until this mysterious
beast appeared, giving me hope. Or was it despair? The two were trading places
in my mind so often I was beginning to lose sight of which was the truth.
Occasionally,
the beast was tired and I would bravely approach it. Of course, by this point,
it might be considered stupidity. But in that rare moment when it’s guard was
down and it let me in, I bowed before it, barely able to hide my glee. It
accepted my open hand. The beast, though powerful as it had proved itself to
be, had a gentle side that exuded calm. I felt most tranquil when it allowed me
to come close.
As
my wounds became scars, constant reminders of my thoughtlessness, I began to
develop a sixth sense about the creature. Almost like a voice raising alarm
when the beast’s hackles would rise. I would jump back immediately, missing
only inches of the beast’s graze. But even then, I felt it was beginning to
accept me. It had to know we were in this together. To the death.
One
evening, months after our first encounter, I saw the beast resting out in the
open. I paused. Was this a sign of acceptance? Had it finally allowed its guard
to be set aside? With great exhilaration, before I could stop myself, I had
rushed the creature. My arms open wide in an attempt to show I had nothing to
hide. I found myself colliding with the furry beast, my hands gripping around
it, forcing it to accept me. Alarms went off in my head, dire warnings to back
away. I had gone too far. I was going to undo months of work.
“Luke!
Let the cat go! She’s going to scratch you again!” The mother screamed at the
toddler. He barely acknowledged her, only gripping tighter the tail of the
violently hissing feline. The mother bounded over to the scene, yanking the
little boy off the cat, who then raced away into the shadows.
The
toddler looked longingly after his friend, the smile melting off of his face.
“Meow?”
Laying in my bed
My
love by my side
Remembering
tears
I'd
shed like the tide
Dreams
couldn't capture
The
life I have now
I
wish I knew then
Oh,
the blessings, just how
If
I had trusted
Patiently
waited
The
tears I'd have saved
Not
feeling jaded
The
timing in life
The
best kind that is
Certainly
not mine
Definitely
His
Rocking
my baby
While
I hold him tight
I
wish I had known
It'd
all be alright
But
if I had known
The
blessings in store
The
hardships as well
Would
I still want more?
We're
only given
Enough
for today
For
each little step
Each
breath on the way
Beyond
that is what
To
God only known
It's
what we call faith
Blessing
all its own
Trusting
in Him
Through
each little tear
Through
all the unknown
Casting
out all fear
The
blessings around me
Are
all the more sweet
With
all my unknowns
At
the Savior's feet
Hello all,
It's been quite awhile since this page has been updated. In the past seven years I have gotten married and had a wonderful little boy who is now almost 4 years old. While life has unfortunately slowed down my writing, it still exists, just in bursts.
Please enjoy.
