December Fool's Day

 I wrote this in 2003 and it won 2nd place in the Times Union Holiday Short Story Contest

December Fool's Day

     Most people do pranks of April Fool's Day and some even on Halloween.  Not many do them at Christmas.  It all began seven years ago when my brother was nine and I was seven.  This prank giving custom originated when my brother wrote a note impersonating Santa and left it by the cookies I had so carefully made the night before.  On Christmas Day I rushed into the living room to see if the milk and cookies were gone.  I found half a cookie and an empty glass.  I was thrilled to see the letter, but when I read it I almost cried.  The letter said: 

     Dear Selena, the cookies were horrible! What were you trying to do, kill me? -Santa Claus

You can imagine my horror.  I had just finished throwing the left over cookie away when my brother, Kenny, started laughing and rolling around on the floor.  I was so mad at him I screamed bloody murder and woke up our parents who were sleeping soundly until that alarm at 7:30 a.m.  Kenny did get in trouble for his horrible prank but I still swore my revenge by saying, "This is war."  My brother began laughing again.  Apparently he didn't expect much from a seven year old.

Christmas came one year later and the prank I had so vigilantly prepared caught Kenny by surprise.  He unwrapped his first gift to find a barbie doll.  He was very confused until I took a picture of him holding the doll with the camera I'd gotten for my birthday.

He chased me around the room until I promised to rip up the picture once it was processed.

     And so the war had begun.  Every year after we would take turns playing pranks on each other.  Our parents were a little unnerved at first but once they realized they couldn't stop us, they simply let us be.  Our pranks have become a tradition and I expect they'll continue until one of us moves out. 

Well, this past year was my year and I had been thinking of the perfect prank ever since the horrible embarrassment I suffered the year before.  I had woken up to my brother looking, white faced, over me.  At first I thought, "Oh, the prank, he's getting really good at it.  But when I saw a tear roll down his eye, I knew he wasn't joking.  I jumped out of bed and Kenny began hurriedly explaining what he'd found in the living room.  He said that the window had been busted out and that someone had stolen our presents.

     "What?"  I had said, halfway through putting on my slippers.  "But we wouldn't heard it."

     "Not that way they did it, "Kenny replied solemnly. "They even put the window back!"

     He led me into the living room.  I hadn't really believed him until I saw the shredded wrapping paper scattered all over the floor and the lack of presents.

     "But they were in such a hurry, I guess, that they forgot this one present.  It's for you...." he pointed to the lone gift on the floor.  It was no bigger than the box of shoes and I was almost certain they were the ones I had asked for, but right then I didn't feel like opening them.  I wasn't going to at first but Kenny insisted.

     "I wanna see what it is," he said quietly.

     So I knelt beside the box and unwrapped it.  The shoes were there but they had a little note on top that read: "I got you good!"

Needless to say, my brother gloated the whole day.  He had hidden the presents in the kitchen.  If I had only looked I wouldn't have spoiled his prank, but I had, foolishly, believed him.

     And because of that, I was sparing no expense in making my brother the fool he was born to be.  I would slip a note under his nose at dinner that said, "Merry Christmas!  And because you're 16 we thought we'd give you some wheels.  Look in the driveway."  He would get excited, run out there and find a little Hot Wheels car in the driveway with a note that said, "I got you so good!"  I could almost imagine the look on my brother's face.

Mom had baked the most luscious dinner for after our "gift-devouring" as Dad called it.  It consisted on baked turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, green beans, corn on the cob and red velvet cake for desert.  I was sitting next to Kenny at our little square table.  Mom and Dad were sitting on either side.  Mom asked Kenny to say the blessing and when he did, I slipped the note under his napkin, written with my best adult handwriting, which had been highly applauded for its resemblance to our mother's.  He finished and we began to eat.  I waited.  Not once did that boy pick up the napkin.  He used his sleeve to wipe his mouth and everything else.  Once, I gave Mom this look and then nodded towards him.  She said, "What is it, Selena?"

     "Nothing," I said.  I was getting anxious.  Not once had my prank ever failed, and, not once had it ever ceased to happen.

     Finally I made a big deal about wiping my mouth and then looked at Kenny.  "Um, you have gravy on your nose," I lied.

     The insufferable boy touched his nose with his finger and then said, "No, I don't."

     Just when I was beginning to think he'd peeked during the prayer and saw me hide the note, Kenny picked up his napkin to wipe his face, showing that he was done eating.  I held my breath as he looked down to the note and cocked his head.  But just as his hand touched it my dad cleared his throat and stood up.  My brother put his hands in lap and looked up at our father.  I sighed, then did the same.

     "Kids, this has been a wonderful meal, " he looked warmly at Mom who flushed then looked down.  "I think it's about time you knew something."

     Kenny and I shared a confused glance.

Dad continued, "This will be the last Christmas we have together as just the four of us."  At this point Mom stood up too, and took Dad's hand.  They gazed dreamily at each other and then looked down on us. 

Mom smiled.  "We're having a baby!     "What?"  Kenny and I yelled in unison.  We looked at each other, horrified.

     "But why?" I asked, "Why now?  Isn't fourteen years a little too much of an age difference?"

     Kenny shook his head wildly, "I'm not changing any diapers!"

     Then suddenly Mom and Dad burst out laughing.

     Kenny and I were shocked.  We looked at each other.

     "Oh, you guys!"  Mom said, tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

     Dad was red in the face, grinning.  "Now we know why you kids do this every year!  The look on your faces, it was priceless!"

     I was speechless.  Our own parents pulled a prank on us.  I turned to Kenny.  We were both still sitting down.  Kenny raised his eyebrows at me then looked to Mom and Dad.

     "You know this is war," he said quietly, our parents calming down a bit.  They gave us a look.

     "Oh, don't be ridiculous," Mom said, sitting back down.  "This is just a one time thing."

     "Yes, this won't happen every year like with you two," Dad said, taking a seat also.

     Kenny grinned at me and I knew we were thinking the same thing.

That's what you think, but just wait until next year.